Worrywart-ville, Population: moi

Lately I have been sort of stressing out about starting my M.Div program at McCormick. I think there are a few reasons for it.

Change scares me. Not in the debilitating way it terrifies others, just a slow gnawing feeling in the bottom of my stomach that eats away at me over time. Yikes, dramatic much? Ok, so its not actually that bad. I am just someone who gets nervous easily. Change makes me nervous. Starting a new program is change. Therefore, new program = nervous. Which, when I think about it, isn't really that abnormal.

I have to move. As of right now, I have a lot of stuff in my room that I'll need to move and I don't have any means of transportation besides the CTA. I can't be too sure, but I don't think it is realistic for me to try and move furniture via the green line and the 55 bus all the way to Hyde Park. Adding to my concerns is the fact that I don't have anyone to help me move. Most of my stuff is feasibly carried by 1 person, but there are a few things that require at least 2 people. Granted, I haven't asked very many people to help me and I am assuming that I can find at least 1 or 2 people to help with the move, but still. Worry-some nevertheless. If there is anyone reading this who will be in Chicago the week of August 20th and wants to help me move: let me know! :)

I am not a religious studies major, gender studies major or humanities major. I know that this is not a requirement for seminary, but I still worry that my base-line level of knowledge is different (aka lower) than my future classmates'. Hopefully once classes start this fear will dissolve into an appreciation for different backgrounds and experiences. That's pretty much what I am banking on since I doubt my knowledge of Income Tax Law will be much help in my Pilgrimage of Faithfulness course.

I do not know anyone at McCormick. Ok, this is not entirely true, since I have met people that study or work at McCormick. HOWEVER, it is still a concern. My class is only 35 people. Hopefully in that class there will be people I get along with and connect to. But I still worry about starting a program like this without knowing others. I do have "2nd degree friends" who will be there. Aka I know people who know people who are starting at McCormick in the fall. If there are any future McCormick students reading this: I hope you are cool! :D

As of August 2012, I will be unemployed. I am actively searching for and apply to various jobs in Chicago, but have not heard back from any of them. I did get a grant to cover 7 courses for next year, which is awesome (!!) but still technically leaves me with the cost of paying for 2 courses and living expenses. One option I have come up with is to just take 7 classes (3 each semester and 1 Jan term) next year instead of the typical 9 (4 each semester and 1 Jan term). This might be a smart idea since I have been out of school for a year. Also, I want to avoid student loans. However, that still leaves me with a serious chunk of money to come up with in just a few short months. If there are any millionaires who want to give me money or people who want to give me a job reading this: please feel free to email me!! ;)

I think that pretty much sums up my reasoning for being stressed.

All of that being said, I was at McCormick today and I am also really excited to start my classes soon. Rachel Wells, who was a YAV in India and just recently returned to the states, is visiting the Chicago site. She wanted to take a tour of McCormick so we headed on down there this morning/afternoon. It was great being on the tour again and seeing the building from the perspective of an incoming student vs a prospective student. Everyone I have ever met who works at, studies at or an alum from McCormick is awesome. I don't know if I could have picked a better seminary. And, I absolutely adore Hyde Park. Even when I visited for the first time in November and it was cold, windy and snowing, I still loved it.

All in all, my stress < my excitement, which I take as a good sign.