First Impressions: Seminary

Sometimes I still can't believe that I'm in seminary. These past few weeks haven't felt real. I don't really know how to describe it. I've never been in classes before that opened with prayer and the professors actually wanted to hear our opinions & thoughts. When I was in undergrad at Trinity, I felt like the professors just asked us questions to make sure that we had done the readings. Granted- when the subject one studies is accounting, there really isn't much room for interpretation and opinion. That's how companies end up with fraudulent accounting and suspect business practices.

I am currently enrolled in 4 classes: Pilgrimage in Faithfulness (PIF), Intro to Biblical Studies, History Survey 1 and Sexual & Domestic Violence. PIF is a course that all entering first-year seminarians are required to take. We are going to discuss subjects like baptism, communion, etc. From my understanding, the course is designed to not only orient us with the other opinions and viewpoints that our classmates bring, but to also make us evaluate what we ourselves believe. Intro to Biblical Studies is just that...and introductory course to studying the Bible from an academic lens. This is not the most exciting of courses, but I know that it is going to be invaluable for me since I only took 2 "religion" courses in college: Old Testament and World Religions. Neither of which taught me how to write an exegetical paper (a critical study and evaluation of biblical text). History Survey 1 is the first of 2 required Christian history classes that I need to take. So far it has been fun to learn about the early Christians!

Sexual & Domestic Violence (SDV) is my "fun" course for the semester. I think the best advice I received from my advisor & other McCormick students was to register for a course that I actually wanted to take vs a course that is required. Instead of Greek, I chose to register for SDV. For those of you who don't know, I took a course on international human trafficking when I studied abroad in Copenhagen. Although the class material was upsetting and disturbing, the information I learned is invaluable. These things (human trafficking & sexual and domestic violence) happen and extremely prevalent in our society. When they are not discussed, the issues do not go away. Instead we are just ignorant to them and people around us get hurt. I know I have more to say on this topic, but that is a different post for another day. For now, I'll just say this: sexual and domestic violence happens to people across political lines, sexual orientation, ethnicity, economic status, religious beliefs, and education. The victims of domestic violence should never be blamed. Men are not the dominant partner in the typical heterosexual marriage and clergy should never tell someone to put their marriage before their own personal safety or the well being of a child.

On a more positive note, I love living in Hyde Park. I actually feel at home here. Lately I came to the realization that if I do not feel at home somewhere, it is hard for me to adjust and enjoy new experiences. That was one of my biggest roadblocks to overcome while at Trinity. I lived in San Antonio for 4 years, but I never grew to think of it as home. Likewise, even though I lived in my YAV house for an entire year, it was never a place that I felt comfortable, relaxed and safe. Unfortunately, these times in my life were also times of immense personal growth. It was an emotional and spiritual struggle that was only increased by my feeling of displacement. I am so thankful that McCormick is an open, welcoming, and affirming community. I have already made some great friends and I am looking forward to the next 3 years with a positive & optimistic outlook. I am excited to learn and discern God's call alongside these amazing people! 

Worrywart-ville, Population: moi

Lately I have been sort of stressing out about starting my M.Div program at McCormick. I think there are a few reasons for it.

Change scares me. Not in the debilitating way it terrifies others, just a slow gnawing feeling in the bottom of my stomach that eats away at me over time. Yikes, dramatic much? Ok, so its not actually that bad. I am just someone who gets nervous easily. Change makes me nervous. Starting a new program is change. Therefore, new program = nervous. Which, when I think about it, isn't really that abnormal.

I have to move. As of right now, I have a lot of stuff in my room that I'll need to move and I don't have any means of transportation besides the CTA. I can't be too sure, but I don't think it is realistic for me to try and move furniture via the green line and the 55 bus all the way to Hyde Park. Adding to my concerns is the fact that I don't have anyone to help me move. Most of my stuff is feasibly carried by 1 person, but there are a few things that require at least 2 people. Granted, I haven't asked very many people to help me and I am assuming that I can find at least 1 or 2 people to help with the move, but still. Worry-some nevertheless. If there is anyone reading this who will be in Chicago the week of August 20th and wants to help me move: let me know! :)

I am not a religious studies major, gender studies major or humanities major. I know that this is not a requirement for seminary, but I still worry that my base-line level of knowledge is different (aka lower) than my future classmates'. Hopefully once classes start this fear will dissolve into an appreciation for different backgrounds and experiences. That's pretty much what I am banking on since I doubt my knowledge of Income Tax Law will be much help in my Pilgrimage of Faithfulness course.

I do not know anyone at McCormick. Ok, this is not entirely true, since I have met people that study or work at McCormick. HOWEVER, it is still a concern. My class is only 35 people. Hopefully in that class there will be people I get along with and connect to. But I still worry about starting a program like this without knowing others. I do have "2nd degree friends" who will be there. Aka I know people who know people who are starting at McCormick in the fall. If there are any future McCormick students reading this: I hope you are cool! :D

As of August 2012, I will be unemployed. I am actively searching for and apply to various jobs in Chicago, but have not heard back from any of them. I did get a grant to cover 7 courses for next year, which is awesome (!!) but still technically leaves me with the cost of paying for 2 courses and living expenses. One option I have come up with is to just take 7 classes (3 each semester and 1 Jan term) next year instead of the typical 9 (4 each semester and 1 Jan term). This might be a smart idea since I have been out of school for a year. Also, I want to avoid student loans. However, that still leaves me with a serious chunk of money to come up with in just a few short months. If there are any millionaires who want to give me money or people who want to give me a job reading this: please feel free to email me!! ;)

I think that pretty much sums up my reasoning for being stressed.

All of that being said, I was at McCormick today and I am also really excited to start my classes soon. Rachel Wells, who was a YAV in India and just recently returned to the states, is visiting the Chicago site. She wanted to take a tour of McCormick so we headed on down there this morning/afternoon. It was great being on the tour again and seeing the building from the perspective of an incoming student vs a prospective student. Everyone I have ever met who works at, studies at or an alum from McCormick is awesome. I don't know if I could have picked a better seminary. And, I absolutely adore Hyde Park. Even when I visited for the first time in November and it was cold, windy and snowing, I still loved it.

All in all, my stress < my excitement, which I take as a good sign.

One Month In...

A month in. I can't believe it! It feels like I've been here both longer and shorter...if that is at all possible. Chicago is amazing! Sometimes I forget that I live here...I get caught up in the mundane, daily task of commuting to work on the El. But then I see something that reminds me, like the family I saw on the train yesterday after church. It was obviously a mother and father visiting their semi-grown up daughter. She seemed to be around my age, probably 25 or so. But the parents were so happy to be on the El! It just reminded me that I am living in a city that people come to for vacation. I don't want to forget that...I also don't want to put off experiencing all that Chicago has to offer until its too late. I mean, my office at Fourth overlooks Michigan Avenue! The view is something that people would probably pay to see. There are so many different neighborhoods, museums, stores, restaurants, parks, etc that I want to see and experience before my year is done.


It's funny. I've been realizing lately that one of the reasons I really like Chicago so far is that it reminds me of Copenhagen. The architecture and city layout are completely different--there were buildings I walked past everyday in Copenhagen that were from the 1300s. And the city was not designed to be on a grid like Chicago. But the people somewhat remind me of Danes. Maybe it is because their winter climate is similar, but I just get the feeling that Chicagoans really appreciate the summer and take full advantage of all the many parks. There was one day that I was in Lincoln Park walking between bus stops on my way from Fourth to PAWS and I just stopped and sat down on a park bench. I was surrounded by beautiful flowers and green grass. All around me were people running, walking their dogs, playing with their kids, and just enjoying the beautiful warm weather. It made me feel like I was back in the Tivoli Gardens! Granted, I don't think that it was ever 80 degrees outside when I was over there, but that's not the point. Now that the weather is getting colder people aren't outside as often. It will be interesting to see if the winter months remind me of Denmark as well. Probably because it was really the only time I've experienced living in a climate where it snows!


One of the other things that I realized recently is that although I tried really hard to not have any expectations, I had them. Everyone warned me that setting the bar too high would only make it harder to enjoy my time in Chicago, etc. But I think it is impossible to start a new chapter in your life without having a few expectations! I had expectations about my roommates, my job sites, the house we would be living in, the neighborhood, what church I would attend and Chicago as a city. For the most part, my expectations were completely off. It has taken me a little while to get used to, but I think I am glad that my expectations were not met. I am far from perfect, but I know that by August I will be a better person because I will have been put into situations that were unexpected. If you live in a world where everything is exactly what you want it to be, then where does personal growth come in? I believe that when we are put in new situations it is God challenging us to grow. When I agreed to accept the call to serve a year in Chicago, I definitely had the expectation that at the end of my time here I would have a clear picture in my minds as to how I am meant to live my life. Aka I thought that I would be able to discern graduate school plans. Based on how this past month has gone, I still have high hopes but I have accepted the fact that I probably will need more time.