What have I been doing?

Hello friends!

I only seem to write in this blog when I have 75 other things that I should be working on at the time. This year is going to be an experiment in how I do with my time management skills when it comes to things beyond classwork. My only class this year is the class that goes along with my field site [Faith in Place]. There isn't very much coursework that goes along with the class, mostly just reflecting on our experience.

Beyond my course, I am trying to work 15 hours a week at Faith in Place [FiP]. Luckily the Executive Director, Brian, is equally as excited about teaching me to write grants as I am to learn! I honestly believe that this field site experience is worth the emotional toll I went through this past winter with Lincoln Park. I feel like I am actually learning skills that will benefit me in the future. I was talking with a friend over breakfast yesterday and shared with her that I am just comfortable at FiP. I get to work with people who are passionate about their job. My coworkers are friendly & open to answering my many questions. I am currently in the process of reorganizing our grants files, which is a pretty serious undertaking. I love it. I'm just so happy to be at FiP, I have a hard time describing it.

On top of my field site responsibilities, I am also one of the RA's for the McCormick housing. I'm the Community Life RA, which means I get paid to plan parties. AND IT IS AWESOME. All summer long I held weekly grill nights with our neighbor seminary, the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago [LSTC]. And I don't have to deal with building issues because there is a separate RA for all of that. It is pretty awesome.

I am still working at Daystar with their After School Care program. Hanging out with kids a couple of times a week is always fun to do! This fall, my friend Megan and I are going to have a special weekly cooking class for some of the kids. We already have a few ideas about things to cook with the kids that are healthy, can be done in a group setting, and can be done in about 45 minutes [since that is all the time we have]. I think we are also going to try & tie in theological themes of caring for one's body by eating healthy foods. Megan is a student at LSTC & Daystar is a Christian school, so it should work out pretty well. If you have any suggestions for things we can cook - send them my way!

It is an exciting time to be at McCormick. The student body really seems to be energized in a way I haven't experienced before.

Between work, school & having a social life, I have been trying to find the right balance. The first two weeks of classes are always a little hectic. At the end of August I ran my first half marathon. I'd been training for it since March, so it was a great sense of accomplishment when I finished the race! I was really worried in the days leading us to the event because I had a stomach bug and was worried that I would be too weak/dehydrated to compete. But I took it slow & easy and everything worked out in the end!

I've been trying to get more organized & declutter my life. I realized when I moved from Lincoln Square back down to Hyde Park that I have so much stuff I don't need. I've been loving the resources I've found online, especially Light by Coco. Her make me feel like I'm getting good life advice from a friend. Ok, now I am off to tackle my ever growing to-do list.

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[9/13/14 Note]: I am happy to also be able to announce that I am now the editor of The Herald, the student newspaper at McCormick! It hasn't been very active in the past year or so, and I am hoping to really revive it. We are also going to be putting out a print edition, so if you are a McCormick person, look for it on Wednesday at worship!

I also now have a foster puppy, Fritz. He is an adorable Schnauzer mix who weighs around 25lbs, is extremely friendly with people & other dogs, and housebroken. If you are interested in adopting him, I am fostering through One Tail at a Time. His profile isn't up on the site yet, but when it gets posted I will link it here. You can check my Instagram page for pictures of him.

Stumbling Blocks

Friends,

I was honored to preach at my field site (Lincoln Park Presbyterian Church) on Sunday. Below is a transcript of my sermon. And, of course, the cartoon that I referenced. For it only being my second sermon, I actually wasn't that nervous! Classically, I didn't really give myself enough time to really develop my ideas, so I could have done better. But I think I got my point across. I really appreciate all of the support that my home church, McCormick, and the LPPC congregation gave me on Sunday!

Peace,
Sarah

Luke 18:9-14: Jesus told this parable to certain people who had convinced themselves that they were righteous and who looked on everyone else with disgust: “Two people went up to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed about himself with these words, ‘God, I thank you that I’m not like everyone else—crooks, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week. I give a tenth of everything I receive.’ But the tax collector stood at a distance. He wouldn’t even lift his eyes to look toward heaven. Rather, he struck his chest and said, ‘God, show mercy to me, a sinner.’ I tell you, this person went down to his home justified rather than the Pharisee. All who lift themselves up will be brought low, and those who make themselves low will be lifted up.”

This might be one of the only times there was a projector in the sanctuary. I had a friend send me a cartoon a few days ago, that I think is perfect for this parable. Cyanide and Happiness is an internet cartoon, and one of my favorites. Now, I’ll be honest. Not all of their cartoons are “Sunday morning sermon” appropriate. But this one was just perfect! It is a 4-panel cartoon, with two friends talking.

Person 1: “I want to lend my friend money to help him out, but I’m worried he’ll spend it on drugs. Hmm…what would Jesus do?”

Person 2: “Say a bunch of stuff, then be misinterpreted by millions of people for the next few millennia?”

Person 1: “That’s not what I meant at all.”

Person 2: “So we’re off to a good start.”

Jesus is speaking to people who “have convinced themselves that they were righteous and looked upon everyone else in disgust”.  A Pharisee and a tax collector are going to the temple to pray. The Pharisees were the religious leaders. They were held in high respect by the public and indeed, were very much the public image of the religious class. Now, as someone who studied accounting in undergrad, I have a very different idea of what a tax collector is today compared to those in the first century. A tax collector could walk up to anyone on the street and tax them for what they were carrying. These men were typically Jewish individuals, working for Rome, and often would overtax people so they could keep some of the money. I don’t know about you, but I do not like the sound of that. The tax collectors were often put down and considered to be vicious, vile and degraded.

The argument could be made that both parties in this parable are correct. I think depending on the day you’re having, you can identify with the Pharisee or the tax collector. Days when I feel like I’ve really got it together, I can easily thank God by saying, “I am so glad I am not like them!” But those days when I feel as though everything is going against me, all I can do is act like the tax collector and beg for God’s mercy.

It is easy to interpret it in a straightforward manner. If you have even the slightest knowledge about Jesus’s life and the message he came to share, then seeing the Pharisee as Jesus’s nemesis is easily done. And the tax collectors were hated in Jesus’s day, again, another easy target. We see the surface-level messages of “be humble” or, “don’t be like the self-righteous Pharisee”. Which could be a valid interpretation of the text. But then we are left with possibly taking away the message of, “thank goodness I’m not like those people over there. Because I’m here in church, actively listening to Scripture, and have learned to be humble”.

This parable is a trap. We’ve been set up by the author of Luke to take the easy road – be humble and not boastful. Don’t think too highly of yourself, and you’re on the right path. I like to think of the author of Luke as a director who just looooooves plot twists. Someone like M. Night Shyamalan, who directed The Sixth Sense, Martin Scorsese’s Shutter Island or Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. Now honestly the twist in this parable isn’t one that’s going to knock you out of your seats, send you running from the pews or leave you feeling like you don’t know whether or not you’re living in The Matrix. But the message, like so many of Jesus’s parables, is a twist nevertheless.

So what is going on here? Before we get into all of that, I just want to define a few terms for you. Because if I learned anything from high school debate, it was that you have to define the terms you’re going to use or else people might get caught up.

Righteousness – mostly concerning moral and ethical conduct. Historically, are you seen as doing the right thing in God’s eyes? Are you following the laws?

Justified – when one has been declared or made righteous in God’s eyes. This is more than just following the laws. I see it as are you following the spirit of the law, not just the words. Only then will you be justified: and be declared righteous.

When translating the Greek, you end up with 2 sets of words – just and right. Both of these words share a common root in the Greek, which can also be traced back to a Hebraic concept of the Old Testament – God’s gracious and covenantal relationship to the people of Israel. This root word was also used in the everyday Greek of the New Testament times to imply whether or not one was following the standard laws laid out in the Old Testament.

What is the real concern here? Being a Pharisee/tax collector or praising too loudly?

Everything that the Pharisee says in Luke is true. He is righteous, according to the laws, the standards that Luke establishes and even by Jesus who names him as righteous in this story. The Pharisee has set himself apart by faithfully adhering to the law. In verse 11 when he thanks God for not making him like everyone else, he is basically holding up his life to the 10 commandments. He fasts during the week, he tithes, he prays to God. The Pharisee doesn’t understand that the source of his righteousness is from God. What the Pharisee is confused about is not how he should be living his life, because he is already living a life of righteousness.

The tax collector’s prayer is not one that we would immediately think is the right one. He doesn’t say that he is quitting his job, or going to help those who he cheated. The tax collector hasn’t tried to start a better life, just admitted the one that he is living right now is not ok. The tax collector knows that his life is not a righteous one. He stood at a distance from the temple, not wanting to go too close. The tax collector was correct not because his prayer was humble, but because he knew that he hasn’t done anything to claim righteousness. The tax collector knows that righteousness is a gift from God, and did the only thing he could: ask for forgiveness and mercy. He depended on God.

This parable is being told to people who had convinced themselves that they were righteous and who looked upon everyone else with disgust. Finding righteousness in yourself is the problem.  The Pharisee is not claiming righteousness that he doesn’t possess, but he is claiming that all of his righteousness is from his own personal actions and choices. The Pharisee might be praying to God, but he is really thanking himself for making the right decisions.

One’s own accomplishments are not to be praised and are not enough stake a claim to righteousness through. That is through God and God alone. But the Pharisee takes it farther and, like the people Jesus is speaking to in this parable, is haughty enough to despise others within the context of prayer. 

Here’s the real crux of the story. The “Haves” vs “Havenots”. Instead of thanking God for his righteousness and approaching the tax collector as an equal, the Pharisee places himself above the tax collector in prayer. This goes against everything that Jesus taught. He came to break down the divisions that were put into place. This man, who was righteous, was not understanding. This is not ok in the eyes of Jesus.  At church there are still insiders and outsiders. We define them in different ways, but they still exist. I know that I am guilty of it. If I hear about a conservative Christian church doing something that I think is inappropriate or against the message that Jesus taught, I find myself saying, “Thank goodness I am not like them!” These divisions exist in conservative and liberal Christianity. We have just renamed the Pharisees and tax collectors. But there shouldn’t be these divisions. When Jesus died, the curtain separating the 2 groups was torn in two (Luke 23:45). There are no divisions before God. And prayer is not the place to only further instill these divisions in our head.

Back to the story - the Pharisee left and went to his home, maintaining his righteousness. He was wrong, but still followed the laws. So he had his righteousness. But the tax collector left the temple justified. Here’s this word, justified. His prayer was transformative. Jesus named him justified because he put his trust in God, not himself. The Pharisee left the temple the same as how he was when he came. But the tax collector was lifted up by Jesus and declared to be equal in the eyes of God.

This parable is really about shifting the attention we put on ourselves and our own actions to God’s great grace, mercy and love.

So what? How can we apply this parable to our lives today? This parable is perfect for stewardship season. How are you serving the church? Are you serving to maintain your righteousness? Are you serving so that you will be exalted by others? Do we serve to put ourselves in the ‘righteous’ group?

Now, I cannot really speak for this congregation, but I know that I have had problems in the past with accepting leadership roles because I wanted the spotlight. I wanted people to look at me and say, gosh. Look how many things Sarah is doing! About a year ago, I was beginning seminary. I didn't come to seminary blindly, but I also didn't come with the wealth of knowledge and experience that I assumed my classmates would have. So I was extremely nervous. I wanted to make a good impression and thought the best way to do that was to be involved in the culture of the school in a way that I was not involved in in undergrad. When I was nominated by my classmates to be a deacon representative during orientation, I was extremely flattered! However I didn't spend much time prayerfully thinking about accepting the nomination. I just thought about how much I wanted to be in a leadership role and accepted. Once a deacon, I almost immediately went for the most public position: the co-moderator. I cannot honestly say that I took on this role for selfless reasons. On the contrary, they were extremely selfish. I wanted people to put me in the righteous category, not the tax collector category. I was the person who was able to take a full load of classes, work 2 jobs and run the deacons. But I was trying to maintain my own righteousness. I wanted all of the glory. I loved the way that people treated me differently. But I should have been working to tear down the divisions instead of working within them.

While we are in the midst of the stewardship season, I want to challenge you to think about ways that you try and maintain your own righteousness. Are you serving because you feel called by God? Are you serving because you want to be seen as righteous and holy in the eyes of others? Or is your serving rooted in love? What are the ways that you can flourish, and help others to flourish? To be justified, like the tax collector, we need to remember that it isn’t just about doing the right things all the time. Our actions are not enough. We need to base our lives in trusting God’s mercy, seeking God’s love and remembering to love our neighbor. Don’t stumble over the easy interpretation or answer. Place your trust in God’s mercy, because no one is excluded before God.

First Impressions: Seminary

Sometimes I still can't believe that I'm in seminary. These past few weeks haven't felt real. I don't really know how to describe it. I've never been in classes before that opened with prayer and the professors actually wanted to hear our opinions & thoughts. When I was in undergrad at Trinity, I felt like the professors just asked us questions to make sure that we had done the readings. Granted- when the subject one studies is accounting, there really isn't much room for interpretation and opinion. That's how companies end up with fraudulent accounting and suspect business practices.

I am currently enrolled in 4 classes: Pilgrimage in Faithfulness (PIF), Intro to Biblical Studies, History Survey 1 and Sexual & Domestic Violence. PIF is a course that all entering first-year seminarians are required to take. We are going to discuss subjects like baptism, communion, etc. From my understanding, the course is designed to not only orient us with the other opinions and viewpoints that our classmates bring, but to also make us evaluate what we ourselves believe. Intro to Biblical Studies is just that...and introductory course to studying the Bible from an academic lens. This is not the most exciting of courses, but I know that it is going to be invaluable for me since I only took 2 "religion" courses in college: Old Testament and World Religions. Neither of which taught me how to write an exegetical paper (a critical study and evaluation of biblical text). History Survey 1 is the first of 2 required Christian history classes that I need to take. So far it has been fun to learn about the early Christians!

Sexual & Domestic Violence (SDV) is my "fun" course for the semester. I think the best advice I received from my advisor & other McCormick students was to register for a course that I actually wanted to take vs a course that is required. Instead of Greek, I chose to register for SDV. For those of you who don't know, I took a course on international human trafficking when I studied abroad in Copenhagen. Although the class material was upsetting and disturbing, the information I learned is invaluable. These things (human trafficking & sexual and domestic violence) happen and extremely prevalent in our society. When they are not discussed, the issues do not go away. Instead we are just ignorant to them and people around us get hurt. I know I have more to say on this topic, but that is a different post for another day. For now, I'll just say this: sexual and domestic violence happens to people across political lines, sexual orientation, ethnicity, economic status, religious beliefs, and education. The victims of domestic violence should never be blamed. Men are not the dominant partner in the typical heterosexual marriage and clergy should never tell someone to put their marriage before their own personal safety or the well being of a child.

On a more positive note, I love living in Hyde Park. I actually feel at home here. Lately I came to the realization that if I do not feel at home somewhere, it is hard for me to adjust and enjoy new experiences. That was one of my biggest roadblocks to overcome while at Trinity. I lived in San Antonio for 4 years, but I never grew to think of it as home. Likewise, even though I lived in my YAV house for an entire year, it was never a place that I felt comfortable, relaxed and safe. Unfortunately, these times in my life were also times of immense personal growth. It was an emotional and spiritual struggle that was only increased by my feeling of displacement. I am so thankful that McCormick is an open, welcoming, and affirming community. I have already made some great friends and I am looking forward to the next 3 years with a positive & optimistic outlook. I am excited to learn and discern God's call alongside these amazing people! 

4th of July Reflections

In our reading for today is Jesus’ baptism by John the Baptist. For some reason, the image of Jesus being baptized brings to mind the children I see playing in the water gushing from broken fire hydrants. I think that if Jesus was to come to Chicago today, he would not be baptized in Lake Michigan, but instead on the street from the water of a broken fire hydrant. Because the neighborhoods of broken fire hydrants need Jesus’ ministry…all places need the message of love, but I believe these broken neighborhoods could use a little extra help. I read in the news today that there were 15 people were shot between the hours of 5:30 pm and 11:30 pm yesterday. One of the people shot was a little girl…just trying to cool off in the stream of water from a broken fire hydrant.

Tonight, all across the country people are celebrating the 4^th of July. But I am having a hard time mustering up my “Go America” attitude. Right now there are people shooting off fireworks all around my house. They are beautiful, but they sound like gunshots to me. 250 people have died due to a gun shot wound. Sure, some of them might be gang related, but that doesn’t mean those men/women/boys/girls deserved to be shot. When will the violence end and freedom begin? How is the west-side, south-side and north-side of Chicago any different than the 3^rd world countries we read about in the news?

In her reflection of today’s reading, Donna Gray wrote, “Jesus said that he was the good shepherd and that the sheep would know his voice. In fact people who know sheep husbandry explain that sheep do know and will follow the voice of their good shepherd. They know the difference between the voice of their shepherd and another who might lead them to places other than the paths of righteousness. I love Jesus' words, for they ring true.”

Her words made me think: Where are we in the midst of this violence? Are we following Jesus’ words or are we choosing to be baptized in Lake Michigan instead of the broken fire hydrants of Chicago. What can I do to help stop this senseless violence?

I celebrated the 4^th of July by having lunch with Kiva, Potts, Jana (Kiva’s old roommate from college who is visiting) & Rachel (a girl from Grinnell College who is interning at 4^th this summer & I was worried she wouldn’t have any fun plans!). I grilled sausages & made salad, corn on the cob, baked beans & peach cobbler for dessert! My salad was a red, white & blue salad. It has been my favorite salad for the past few days—strawberries, blue berries, goat cheese, balsamic vinaigrette, cashews and spinach/arugula. YUM! You need to make this salad ASAP if you know what’s good for you. Then Kiva, Jana and I went to a White Sox game. They played the Rangers & it was a really fun game! (Chicago won btw in case you were wondering) Then I came home to make today’s daily video and wrote the reflection above. Tomorrow is back to work as usual.

Sorry for the downer of a blog post. I truly am eternally grateful for those who sacrifice their lives to defend our country. I thank God every day for Rebecca, Alex, & their peers. And I hope that everyone had a blessed day.

Post-Workcamp Reflection

I was asked to give a reflection of my workcamp experience on Sunday. The Senior Highs led the 4:00 worship service at Fourth & the sermon was us reading our reflections. So, here is my reflection on the workcamp. I might post more information regarding my experience at a later date, but for now, this is it. Below is a picture of our group. If you want to watch reflections by the youth & see pictures of our work during the week, go like the Senior High's Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/seniorhighs. You should also like the Housing Development Alliance's facebook page & view our photo's on their page.  

The group in our fancy orange t-shirts in front of 1st Presbyterian of Hazard, KY

Hello! My name is Sarah Bennett and I work here at Fourth Church, normally with the middle school youth. During our week in Hazard, Kentucky, we all learned different things, but what stuck out to me most was that this week was a lesson in patience. It seems almost every day there was something that required patience. We had to be patient in the van during the 8-hour long van ride to Kentucky, with other members of our workcamp on and off the worksites, during meal preparation time,  & with ourselves while learning new skills at the worksites.

The adult leaders were assigned to the same worksite for all 4 of the work days. I was at the house that was the closest to being completed. When we first arrived to the house on Monday, it still looked very much like a construction zone. The walls were bare and the floors were just plywood. By the time we left on Thursday, all of the walls had been painted, the flooring was down, the kitchen cabinets were installed and the interior doors were going up. Although we were not doing anything as major as re-doing the roof of a house, our job was still very important, as we helped put the finishing touches on someone’s home.

Alison, the other adult leader at the worksite, and I were especially lucky because we were able to get to know the homeowner during our time working on her house. Talking with Robyn reminded me that patience is important. It’s ok with Robyn that her house is taking twice as long to construct because unskilled volunteers are doing a lot of the work alongside the carpenters. The important thing is that her house is being constructed!

Even though our lives only crossed for a short period of time, Robyn’s stories and attitude towards life have deeply impacted me. Almost every day Robyn told us heartbreaking stories of what her young family has already been forced to endure, and yet she said it all with a smile on her face. It was truly a testimony to the strong faith she and her husband share. There is no doubt in her mind or mine that God is present in the construction of their new home. I only hope that I can take Robyn’s enthusiasm and patience and apply it to my own life.

Sometimes Funny

I just wrote Kiva and Potts the most ridiculous email. Since I am procrastinating (I have to film a video for today and finish my academic writing sample which is due to McCormick tomorrow), I figured I would share my email with y'all! Kiva likes to tell me that I am "sometimes funny". There is some inside joke about it that involves her sister (I think) and a book on the Enneagram that her mom has. I'm not sure what exactly it all entails. I've have to get the details from her... BUT! I think it definitely applies to me. This is very typical of the types of emails I frequently send them. 


Oh, I guess I could give you some background information so you aren't confused. We have an AC window unit that has been spitting out water lately. Since I grew up in Texas and didn't have a window unit, I had no idea what the problem was. And I have been too busy recently to google it. However, I finally searched online for the answer and BAM! Just like that the AC unit is up and running again. Well, Potts and I had to fix it first. But then it was up and running again.


Ok, I will delay you no longer from reading the ridiculousness that is a late-night email from me.
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Subject: Kiva & Potts, meet Pete & Anne: our trusty, dusty window friends!

Hello friends!

I thought I would compile all of my knowledge on the AC Window Unit into an email. Here is what I know:

• Our AC unit has an air filter. Who knew? It was completely gross and black. But I cleaned it. According to the owner's manual (which I found on the interwebs) this filter is supposed to be cleaned every 30 days. I say we at least check it weekly.

• Water is supposed to drain out the back of the AC unit, but for some reason, ours doesn't have that. So instead it collects in a drip tray inside. We will need to check this and make sure we are adequately draining it. At least weekly I would suggest we take the window unit out and let it drain. This is a 2 man job, and Potts and I have already done it. So Kiva, make sure one of us is there to help you! Put 2 towels on the floor to catch all the water that will inevitably come out of the unit. While it is draining is a perfect time to clean the filter! Just clean it with warm, soapy water. Then make sure it is completely dry before putting it back in the unit. I just sort of waved it in the air until it dried off. Luna got a kick out of it.

• Here is a link to the owner's manual:  http://products.geappliances.com/MarketingObjectRetrieval/Dispatcher?RequestType=PDF&Name=49-7522.pdf

• Water hitting the fan is ok...but it is a sign that we will need to drain the drip pan.

Fortunately, this has significantly increased the air output from our lovely AC Unit, which I have lovingly named Pete (short for Peter)...just now...as I'm typing this. Pete is much happier now that his air filter isn't clogged with gross, black dust. He currently working hard to lower the temperature in the living room. Hopefully Pete doesn't break down again before you get home Kiva! I am sure he will be happy to see you. Now we know what was making him sick, we shouldn't have so many problems. 

Ok-- off to film a video for today and then bedtime! (Tomorrow I will be checking Pete's sister, Anne (short for Andrea) , to see if she needs to be cleaned.)

Yours truly?
-Sarah

Busy, busy weekend!

Seriously- when does it all end? I thought the summer time was for relaxing, not baking into the wee hours of the morning! On Friday I came to the church to help the Senior Highs bake up a storm for their bake sale, which took place today. I was there for over 6 hours and didn't get home until around 1 am. I was, how do you say, completely exhausted. At PAWS on Friday I was actually really busy and was on my feet for most of the day helping to host a visiting volunteer group from Discovery Communications. Then I did a few adoptions (that reminds me...I need to do those follow-up phone calls tomorrow...)

Since I was so tired, I didn't set an alarm clock for Saturday morning. Which meant I didn't wake up until almost 12 pm. I cannot remember the last time I slept so late! After waking up and making a delicious brunch for myself of turkey bacon and french toast, Kiva and I went down to Hyde Park to visit the Smart Art Museum.

2 side notes:
1. I LOVE BRUNCH. Not sure if you guys know that about me...but there it is. Almost every morning I make a warm breakfast for myself. I've been on a breakfast taco kick lately, but was definitely feeling the french toast on Saturday morning.
2. The Smart Art Museum is not the Smart-Art Museum. Aka, the art is not intelligent art. I was expecting really brainy art...or art that was actually a robot or something. Nope. It's just named after some dude who's last name was Smart. Still cool, just not as cool.

I've been to Hyde Park a lot lately. I like it, which I know I mentioned in my last post, but thought it was worth mentioning again. Kiva and I found the Oriental Museum that is down there after the Smart Art Museum. IT IS AWESOME AND IT IS FULL OF SUPER OLD THINGS AND IT IS FREE! The free part just might be the best, but the old stuff was cool too. There were a lot of plaques next to things that basically said, "This is so old, there are only 2 left in the entire world. We have one and Egypt has one." Ok, clearly paraphrasing...but you get the idea.

Kiva and I then decided to mull over our lives. Clearly this was done with fried pickles and a beer...or two. More about the depths in my psyche that we daringly plunged into later. That is a blog post or 2 all on its own.

Sunday aka today was the bake sale! We raised over $2000 towards Senior High Workcamps! I am really excited to be able to go on this year's trip as one of the lady sponsors. We leave on Saturday. It is promising to be a great trip and I am sure I will have much to report after we get back!

I had a few housekeeping things to take care of in my office (aka make the daily video for today & write my devotion for July that was actually due on Friday but I spaced out and completely forgot about it), so I am still at the church...12 hours after I arrived. I am finally on my way home shortly.

Tomorrow should prove to be an interesting experience. I am going with one of the Discover groups to their site for tomorrow in order to help Krista (my site director) critique the DOOR program. For those of you who have absolutely no idea what I am talking about, don't worry! All will be explained. I am a YAV. YAV has a partnership with DOOR (Discovering Opportunities for Outreach and Reflection). DOOR has year-long service people that live in the house with me aka Kiva. They also have a week-long opportunity for various church groups to come to Chicago, learn about the city and volunteer. It is with one of these groups that I will be volunteering with tomorrow. We are going to Ada Niles, an Adult Day-Care center. Like I said before, it should be interesting!

I hope all of you fathers out there had a wonderful Father's Day! :D

What Do I Want Out of Seminary?

Tomorrow morning I am visiting McCormick Seminary. As of right now, it is my top choice for seminary. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about what I am looking to get out of an M.Div program. I'm not quite sure yet how all of this meshes together, but the following things are ideas that have been floating around in my head:

• What does it mean to be Presbyterian? To be Methodist? To be Catholic? To be Lutheran? Why do people choose one denomination over another? Frederick Buechner likens it to team mentality over a difference in theology. He writes that people choose one church over another for superficial reasons. And that they don't really know what they believe. I definitely fall (somewhat) into that camp. This YAV year has been especially amazing for me because it has forced me to think about some of these things in a way I've never thought of them before. I am slowly formulating in my mind what my beliefs actually are and how they fit in with the Presbyterian Church (USA). 
• What does an open dialogue between people from different denominations look like? An actual open dialogue- not just tolerating the other's beliefs but actually trying to understand and accept. There is a huge difference between listening to what someone is saying and actually hearing what they have to say. This year I have had cross-denominational conversations, but I am not sure if I was listened to or heard. And vice versa, I'm not sure if I was listening to or actually hearing what was said. 
• How would that play out in worship? Especially if most of the differences in church denominations is not actually theological differences, but instead differences in styles of worship? I want to explore other ways of worship. What about a worship space that is used more than just Sunday mornings? Why can't we have a space that also allows for people to relax, have fun & enjoy being around other people?

Right now I am also reading The Screwtape Letters. I found the book when I was about 12 years old in a closet at First Pres- Granbury. When I read it back then, I had no idea what I was reading. Now that I am reading it again, it has helped me formulate some of the above. Anyway- that is just a little of what I've been trying to process over the past few weeks and put into words. 

I am really excited for my visit to McCormick tomorrow! I'll try and post something about my thoughts on the school tomorrow. 

Read the Bible in a Year

Hey y'all! You should probably go check out the Fourth Church Youth's YouTube page. We are uploading a 90-second reflection video everyday. We have been doing this since January 1st, but I just haven't gotten around to posting about it yet.

Although it creates more work for us, I do love this idea. Though I am not sure how many of the kids are watching the videos daily. If you have some time to spare- go check out the videos! My favorites are the ones that the kids make.

The video above is the one we made on the Elevation Winter Retreat a few weeks ago. The videos follow the same passages for reflection as the "Reading the Bible in a Year" devotions. If you want more information on those, check out the Fourth Presbyterian Church's page for more information.

I know this sounds like an advertisement for Fourth...and maybe it is...but I just think it is a great resource that should be spread beyond the Fourth Church congregation. :)

Seminary Update: I am visiting McCormick Seminary on the 21st. I am really excited for my visit!! A lot of the people I work with are graduates of McCormick and absolutely loved it. There is a grant available to allow YAVs to visit Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary and I have emailed Admissions to try and set up a visit. 

You Told Me So...

I have been terrible about updating this blog recently. My goal is to do better now that my hectic month of February is over. But yesterday I had a very strange/life-changing experience and wanted to share it with y'all.

I was on my way back to Chicago with the Fourth Church middle school youth from our Winter Retreat in Wisconsin. We were in the van driving away from the camp and I was thinking about my graduate school options. I have been in the process of applying to graduate schools to get my master's in accounting. Where to attend grad school has been on my mind a lot lately, so it wasn't unusual that I was thinking about it. What was weird and disconcerting was that I suddenly had the sense that I was not on the right path. My head starting pounding and I couldn't hear anything but the blood rushing to my head. I was completely overcome with emotion and had to try really hard to keep my composure since I was in a van full of people. The only thing that kept running through my head was the sense that I should be going to seminary next year.

I know it sounds strange, but this really did happen. It's hard to describe...and hard to talk about. I have felt called to do things before, but never like this. I felt called by God to go on my first mission trip back in middle school. I felt called by God to work as a camp counselor one summer in high school. I felt called by God to do a year of service here in Chicago. But I have never felt such a strong calling before. The skeptic in me tried to convince myself that I was just sleep deprived, worried about going back to graduate school for accounting and excited about how well our retreat went. But the other part of me cannot accept these things as reasons to not listen to my experience. So what if I was tired? Maybe I am worried about going back to school for accounting because part of me knows deep down that isn't what I'm meant to do with my life. And who cares that I was in a good mood because the retreat went well? Experiences such as the one I had do not happen all the time. Isn't everyone always complaining that God doesn't speak to them clearly enough? I am pretty sure that more than once this month I have said something along the lines of, "Why doesn't God speak through burning bushes anymore?" This might be the closest thing to a burning bush that I'll ever get.

I have thought in the past of going to seminary. Well, let me clarify that statement. For about a year, I have been considering seminary. It wasn't until I went to the YAV Placement Event in March of last year that I even considered seminary. Prior to March of 2011, seminary seemed like a distant place filled with stuffy old white guys who just sat around debating the merits of Calvin. Now, I know there is a lot wrong with that sentence, but when I was a kid that image got into my mind somehow and never seemed to work its way out. As I got older, I realized that these stereotypes of seminary from the 1850s were not accurate, but I never considered myself as someone who would fit-in at a seminary. I thought theology would be boring and just semantics. I was worried the things I believed would not be accepted or ok. The list goes on and on....but more recently I have been wondering if these reasons were valid or just excuses.

For me, February has been the month of Vocational Discernment. I went on 2 different vocational retreats and have spent a lot of time thinking about life, the future, vocation, my calling, whatever you want to call it. I have also had many conversations with people wondering if seminary is in my future. Since I work at a church, I wrote off many of their questions as just them wanting to make me go to seminary. I would hate talking about my plans for the fall because it always made me really nervous. If I had decided on a Masters in Accounting, then why wasn't I happy? Why wasn't I excited to share my plans for the future with anyone? When everything fell into place about my YAV year here in Chicago, I felt like I was always talking about it! I was so excited!! So maybe that feeling of dread that came over me wasn't just nervousness about the future. Maybe I should have listened to that little voice in the back of my head sooner.

I am always telling the kids in Elevation that God speaks to us through every day situations- and I honestly believe that. Unfortunately, I was apparently too stubborn and boneheaded to pay attention to the signs in my own life. I basically needed to be slapped upside the head to get the message. To those who kept asking me about seminary and not accepting my reasons as actual answers, thank you and you were right. Please feel free to say, "I told you so!" the next time I see you. Your questions, though unwanted at the time, are now very much appreciated.

As of right now, I do not know where I want to go to seminary or what I want to do with an M.Div. HOWEVER, I am not going to let that be a deterrent any longer. It is no longer the 1850s- the student population in seminary is more diverse. My thoughts and ideas are just as valuable as someone else's. Theology is not as stuffy as I thought. (Granted, I still think it would be really easy to get caught up in the semantics and not actually have a conversation about anything real, but that is beside the point.) The skeptical part of my brain will just have to take a rest for a little while. Man, who knew that 3 minutes could change your life so drastically?

If you have any questions/comments - feel free to email me. Additionally, if you have any reading suggestions to help me to figure out this new path, please let me know!

Back From My Hiatus!!

I haven't posted on this blog in over a month! I can't really believe it...I had even sat down a couple of months ago and brainstormed a bunch of blog-post ideas so that I could write interesting and thought provoking content for all of you lovely readers. However, life happened and I haven't really had the chance/felt like writing a blog post. November was definitely a hard month for me. But I am in the process of getting back in a better mood! It sometimes feels like an uphill battle, but I'm getting there. :) This is just one of the phases you go through when you move to a new place.

Both of my site placements have been great! I am going to try and post more about how my job at PAWS is changing. Maybe I'll get to that tomorrow? I actually have to go into PAWS tomorrow for some training. I haven't actually ever been to PAWS on a weekend day before. It should be an interesting experience! I also have been thinking a lot about my plans for the fall, i.e. Graduate School (dun, dun, dunnnnnnn). Hopefully I will get something up about that as well in case you are anxiously waiting for that. Haha.

I hope that you all are having a wonderful December so far. I do have some exciting news! My presbytery (Grace Presbytery) is the best! I just got an email from them today and they have donated $1300 towards the $6500 total that I need to raise for the year. I feel so blessed to be a part of such an amazing organization. :)

Today was a good day. I worked at PAWS and then my house went over to the Mennonite Volunteer Service house for dinner. It was a lot of fun to meet some more year-long volunteers! But I am tired, so off to bed I go! Goodnight all and sweet dreams. :)

What I Did Today + Room Pictures!

Today I reorganized my room. And I think I like it now...before I was sharing it with another person. But now I moved some stuff around, and it feels more comfortable to me! I will put up some pictures. My room is a little messy though, so no judging! Haha :)

Today we didn't really have a lesson during Elevation. I had planned to talk to the kids about Cain & Abel, but there were only 6 kids. We normally have 30- 35 kids, so I decided that it would be best to wait until the majority of the class was there. Instead we played Never-Have-I-Ever. It was a lot of fun to get to know the 6 kids that were there better. After Elevation, I stayed for the Young Adult gathering, which was a really interesting discussion. We talked about Jesus' crucifixion. Realistically, that isn't a topic that I have spent much time thinking about. I feel like most of the things that we talk about during the Young Adult gatherings are topics that I have never really put a lot of thought into. I definitely think that between the gatherings and the discussions that my house gets into, my beliefs and views are going to be challenged a lot in the coming months.

After the gathering, I wandered around the city. I didn't really go anywhere specific, I just walked around the Loop. The Loop is the area of downtown that is contained within the loop of train tracks that the El makes. There are so many beautiful buildings in Chicago! It was a perfect day outside today, and so I took advantage of the warm weather to just wander and explore.

The Chicago Marathon was today. When I was walking around the city I saw a bunch of people with their medals on. It was really funny because most of them wanted to take off the medal because they felt weird wearing it, but their friends and family members that were with them wanted them to leave the medal on. I could definitely picture me and Rebecca in that situation--me forcing Rebecca to leave the medal on. I congratulated a lot of them, which I like to think made them happy. Running 26.2 miles is no small feat. I don't know that I would go so far as to say that I want to run a marathon one day, but I definitely think I want to run a half-marathon! My only problem is finding the motivation to get to the gym. It is especially hard right now because I keep putting off finding a gym! I know that once winter hits I won't be able to run outside, so I had better get a move on!

Ok, here are some pictures of my room! I will try and upload some more tomorrow morning because I am sure they will turn out better in the natural light.

Week's Goal: Find a gym!!

One Month In...

A month in. I can't believe it! It feels like I've been here both longer and shorter...if that is at all possible. Chicago is amazing! Sometimes I forget that I live here...I get caught up in the mundane, daily task of commuting to work on the El. But then I see something that reminds me, like the family I saw on the train yesterday after church. It was obviously a mother and father visiting their semi-grown up daughter. She seemed to be around my age, probably 25 or so. But the parents were so happy to be on the El! It just reminded me that I am living in a city that people come to for vacation. I don't want to forget that...I also don't want to put off experiencing all that Chicago has to offer until its too late. I mean, my office at Fourth overlooks Michigan Avenue! The view is something that people would probably pay to see. There are so many different neighborhoods, museums, stores, restaurants, parks, etc that I want to see and experience before my year is done.


It's funny. I've been realizing lately that one of the reasons I really like Chicago so far is that it reminds me of Copenhagen. The architecture and city layout are completely different--there were buildings I walked past everyday in Copenhagen that were from the 1300s. And the city was not designed to be on a grid like Chicago. But the people somewhat remind me of Danes. Maybe it is because their winter climate is similar, but I just get the feeling that Chicagoans really appreciate the summer and take full advantage of all the many parks. There was one day that I was in Lincoln Park walking between bus stops on my way from Fourth to PAWS and I just stopped and sat down on a park bench. I was surrounded by beautiful flowers and green grass. All around me were people running, walking their dogs, playing with their kids, and just enjoying the beautiful warm weather. It made me feel like I was back in the Tivoli Gardens! Granted, I don't think that it was ever 80 degrees outside when I was over there, but that's not the point. Now that the weather is getting colder people aren't outside as often. It will be interesting to see if the winter months remind me of Denmark as well. Probably because it was really the only time I've experienced living in a climate where it snows!


One of the other things that I realized recently is that although I tried really hard to not have any expectations, I had them. Everyone warned me that setting the bar too high would only make it harder to enjoy my time in Chicago, etc. But I think it is impossible to start a new chapter in your life without having a few expectations! I had expectations about my roommates, my job sites, the house we would be living in, the neighborhood, what church I would attend and Chicago as a city. For the most part, my expectations were completely off. It has taken me a little while to get used to, but I think I am glad that my expectations were not met. I am far from perfect, but I know that by August I will be a better person because I will have been put into situations that were unexpected. If you live in a world where everything is exactly what you want it to be, then where does personal growth come in? I believe that when we are put in new situations it is God challenging us to grow. When I agreed to accept the call to serve a year in Chicago, I definitely had the expectation that at the end of my time here I would have a clear picture in my minds as to how I am meant to live my life. Aka I thought that I would be able to discern graduate school plans. Based on how this past month has gone, I still have high hopes but I have accepted the fact that I probably will need more time.